S.C.H.L.U.B.B.

SCHLUBB 2007: Round Four

justwide — Wed, 23 May 2007 05:28:19 GMT

They say you can't win them all. But holy mackerel, did the magnificent Red Wings ever come heart-stoppingly close to winning tonight. In this year's S.C.H.L.U.B.B., mine was the last beard standing. Maybe that counts for something. It's a matter for history, anyway, as now it's been shorn (see above).

A beneficial side effect of participating in S.C.H.L.U.B.B.: You know the despair you feel when your team suffers a late-round defeat? Well, it's mitigated, if only a little, by the very pleasant thought that at last you can shave your scratchy, wooly mug.

SCHLUBB 2007: Round Three

justwide — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:38:23 GMT

The Conference final matchups are set: It's Sabres vs. Sens in the East and Red Wings vs. Ducks in the West. How strong is your beard-fu? Email schlubb@justwide or post in the message board — I'll be adding photos of all surviving beards as I receive them.

UPDATE: I added 24601's picture from the end of Vancouver's series. I got it here, where you can also see him clean-shaven again for the long off-season.

UPDATE: I added what promises to be Joel's last mugshot. Not that the Sabres are bowing out anytime soon, but I hear his face has other commitments starting this weekend.

SCHLUBB Update

justwide — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 19:40:07 GMT

Attention S.C.H.L.U.B.B.-watchers: I updated last week's post with photos of all our participants at the end of the first round. It looks like that's the last we'll see of our two Pittsburgh fans, as this year's March of the Penguins has come to an end on various Steel City golf courses. Don't miss the newest pictures.

SCHLUBB 2007: Round Two

justwide — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 05:03:08 GMT

The first round of the playoffs is over and done with. Friends, Romans, S.C.H.L.U.B.B. participants, send me your beards! I'll be adding photos to the top of this post as I receive them. Email schlubb@justwide or post in the message board.

APRIL 30 UPDATE:
As you can see, I got pictures from our other S.C.H.L.U.B.B.ers. On the top row, that's me on the left after a punishing Red Wings series victory over Calgary. On the right, that's Joel, still eschewing the razor for the Buffalo Sabres, who look all but unstoppable. The second row is our "Agony of Defeat" showcase. Dave on the left and Brian on the right have both reportedly shorn their mugs after watching the Penguins knuckle under. Brian blogged his beard after every game of the Pittsburgh/Ottawa series; check it out. In the bottom row is our pal 24601, who's a veteran of almost as many S.C.H.L.U.B.B.s as we've held, I think. Like his Canucks, he's still going strong.

SCHLUBB 2007: Day One

justwide — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 18:10:30 GMT

Our first few S.C.H.L.U.B.B. participants are ready for Round One! Clockwise from top left, we are: Matthew (your friendly Just Wide editor-in-chief), Joel, Brian and Dave. We'll be pulling for Detroit, Calgary/Buffalo, Pittsburgh and Pittsburgh, respectively. Join us! Send a picture of your ugly mug to schlubb@justwide before the puck drops on the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs — or post it in the message board, if you can figure out how to do so. It's going to be a wild and woolly post-season!

Call for Beards

justwide — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 17:44:22 GMT

Just Wide's next annual S.C.H.L.U.B.B. (Stanley Cup HairabaLoo: Unshaven Beard Bowl) event is getting under way! Here's your chance to show the world how earnest is your fandom by forgoing basic hygiene so long as your favorite team remains in the NHL playoffs!

To participate, just email a picture of your relatively clean-shaven face to schlubb@justwide sometime before game one of your chosen playoff series. Let us know what team you're rooting for, and don't shave until they're either hoisting the Stanley Cup or reserving a tee time.

S.C.H.L.U.B.B. 2006 Recap

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 04:16:00 GMT

It's been over for weeks, but our loyal readers deserve to know how this year's S.C.H.L.U.B.B. turned out. Here's how: in abject failure.

I got married in the middle of the first round, and my (lovely!) bride insisted that I shave for our ceremony. This sounded to me like a reasonable requirement, but so, I am now certain, did Delilah's grooming tips sound reasonable to Samson. Deprived of their main source of inspiration and power — the scruff on my ugly mug — the once-mighty Red Wings lost Game 5 of their first-round series to the Oilers on my wedding day, and went on to lose Game 6 and the series during my honeymoon. It was entirely my fault, obviously. I let myself down, but worse than that: I let the team down.

The only other two participants this year were my friends Dave and Joel, who were both in the wedding party. Both also shaved for the ceremony, and by the time the Zambonis were resurfacing the rinks for round two, their chosen teams had been eliminated too. We all learned a powerful lesson about the dangers of shaving during the playoffs, and I, for one, will never marry again. Here's what we looked like the day before the wedding, and you can see why my bride-to-be wanted us to clean up. Not that it made Abercrombie & Fitch models out of any of us.

S.C.H.L.U.B.B. 2006

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 13:42:00 GMT

It's the last day of the regular season, and Just Wide seeks participants in the third annual S.C.H.L.U.B.B. (Stanley Cup HairabaLoo: Unshaven Beard Bowl)!

S.C.H.L.U.B.B.ers will be expected to forgo the razor as long as their team of choice remains in championship contention. You'll need to email us a digital photograph of your clean-shaven kisser before the first round of the playoffs, and updated photos at the end of each subsequent round.

To win hockey's holy grail, you need hot goaltending, depth, some luck, and a cadre of enthusiastic fans who are zealous enough to participate in a bizarre, superstitious ritual like this one, even if it means spending the spring behind an (even more) unattractive grill (than usual)! Have you that which it takes?

Interested female participants are encouraged to come up with their own weird way to participate, though we can't imagine what it'd be. Our high school gym coach didn't really go into detail about your hygienic rituals. MEET THE PARTICIPANTS

MATTHEW

This is me, fresh from my first face-scraping in two weeks. It'll be my last, too, until the Red Wings hoist the Stanley Cup! Or, more probably, until my wedding at the end of the month. I know, I know, where's my dedication? Well, marriage is about compromise, or so I hear.

DAVE BUG

Here's Dave, a repeat S.C.H.L.U.B.B.er. With his hometown Blues out of the playoffs (for the first time in franchise history), he says he'll be sending his beardly mojo to the Nashville Predators. They say it takes all kinds.

JOEL

Here's another Gateway City dweller, Joel. With the Blues getting an early start on the golf season, we had to lean on him to participate. His first response was "I think I'll pass this year. I'm a little heartbroken." After we nagged him enough, he agreed to join in, and is leaning toward the magnificent Red Wings as a Western Conference fave and les Habs in the East.

You too should join the furry fray! Send a pre-playoff picture of your fresh-shorn mug!

S.C.H.L.U.B.B. 2004: Playoff Beard Bowl

Thu, 27 May 2004 15:27:00 GMT

Sadly, this year's S.C.H.L.U.B.B. (Stanley Cup Hairabaloo: Unshaven Beard Bowl) festivities were interrupted when seriousdanger, the web log that used to host the Beard Bowl, switched servers in the middle of the playoffs. Three hardy participants made it at least to the end of the second round, though, and now they're featured here on Just Wide:

Here's Dave, erstwhile Canucks supporter who jumped on the Calgary bandwagon at the end of round one. "As you can see from the [most recent] photo," he writes, "I'm currently battling some form of rampaging virus, and losing. I'm not 100% committed to the idea, but I'm think it might be The Plague." His Flames are in the Finals! Is he still in the Beard Bowl? Pipe up, Dave, and let us know.

Boy, do I look this tired and haggard in real life? It's probably from the stress of watching my Red Wings knuckle under to the hardest working team in show business, those Calgary Flames. The picture at far right was taken immediately after that heartbreaking series, and immediately before I shaved.

Hey, here's another Canadian S.C.H.L.U.B.B.E.R.! Flames booster Ricecakes writes: "On Saturday I suffered from a mountain bike crash, prompting me to shave my facial scruff. While my broken left wrist makes typing a bitch, I
fortunately can still drive and did not have to re-learn how to wipe. Oh, and of course we can't have two of the four remaining teams based in Canada, noooo. Go Flames!"